It is Super Bowl Sunday and everyone is getting ready for the festivities. Like any holiday made for idiots, it involves guzzling down cheap beer, eating enough pizza to make your shit stink for weeks and emergency rooms filled to the brim with heart attack victims.
It is the culmination of a year’s worth of football trials and tribulations. It’s the championship, don’t ‘ya know?
It is the grand pooba of American holidays. Move over Christmas, Easter, Independence Day and Thanksgiving. It is the celebration of our new religion: football!
That’s right. Christianity went the way of the dodo, Islam is for child molesters, Judaism ain’t what it used to be, Scientology was made by a broke ass two bit pulp writer and Buddhism doesn’t jibe with an unbalanced world; ‘ya dig?
What better than football to be our new religion? You have retards running around a grass field, throwing a “ball” around and tackling each other to show how supreme their ‘team’ is to the other ‘team’. Sounds like life under the Obama regime, no?
I’m not one for ceremony. I’m not going to watch the Super Bowl. I’m going to do something productive like reading a book (what a foreign idea!) or maybe writing another article for this blog. Maybe I’ll even spend time with my family or get a girlfriend. The possibilities are endless!
I’m sure you have a brain that at least functions half way. Otherwise, how else would you possess the discriminating taste to actually read something I have written? If you’re not just a monkey banging on keys, you shouldn’t watch the Super Bowl either. Walk your dog, start that novel you’ve had kicking around in your head for a while, have sex…it’s up to you!
Be a heretic. Be a rebel. Don’t watch the Super Bowl.
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